wyste

 Two weeks into my summer internship. Going well so far, anxiety aside.

Feeling lucky and tired.

Finished the paper. Not super happy with how it turned out, but onwards and upwards, I guess. 

Working on my mock trial stuff now. Keeping busy. Tired. 

Pretty good times on social interaction with my classmates. Casual friendship is go.

Lots of stuff rolling around in my brain this morning. First, aikido notes. My swordwork is improving, but I need to work on hand and shoulder flexibility and strength in order to level it up and not collapse mid-class with a shoulder sprain. I need to make sure not to get too tense and to stretch during work, too. I took lots of good dojo pictures and I am going to put them on Yelp and Facebook. 

I've been poking gently at my social media presence, mostly by pre-scheduling things. Grad school is going to eat all my time, and I want to keep up with the things I want to do for fun/writing, not just disappear for a few years. So far I have 6 months of content scheduled in my Patreon. I want at least a year and preferably three years, because I am really serious about not enjoying inflicting my creative cycles on innocent bystanders. It's fine to focus on different things or have writer's block occasionally, but that just means one needs to set things aside to fill the gaps. 

I can't really reschedule something interactive like Vampire Quest, but it's forgiving. I just have to remember it's the most optional thing in my schedule. Other stuff has to come first. 

On gardening, I found out that mulching in bulk is not something to do in this area in May. Better to do other garden tasks, and mulch once the ground finishes warming up. So I'll just be weeding, I guess. Forever. I might need to dig out my ipod and audiobooks, weeding doesn't turn off my brain the way shoveling things does. 

I'm halfway through a lot of books and need to make a concerted effort to finish them. Read books, book lady. 

What does femininity mean to me? It means tribeswomen who gather nuts while their men are out hunting charismatic fauna, so that whether or not the men succeed, the tribe will have food. It means women telling girls not to be scared of menstruation and childbirth. It's putting in the boring, repetitive, thankless work of building a home for your people. And, sure, making it look beautiful and effortless is a plus, any art or craft can be made to look beautiful and effortless, but what matters to me is people putting the work in. That's the tradition I want to be a part of. Care, empathy, emotional labor, hospitality. 

Masculinity is far less relevant to my life.